A Nurse Fetish Better Not Be Next
by Kitsune no Tora
Summary: “Stupid monster,” is all Jake has to say. If he had paid attention to where he was going, none of this would have happened. --Title is slightly misleading. High T for language and other things. Shounen-ai if you want it to be.--


Disclaimer: **Fan**fiction, lawyerly dude/ttes.

Warnings: Misleading title is slightly misleading. Strong yaoi implications. Embarrassment and awkward situations, etc. Lots of swear words—I blame Jake. :3 If anyone thinks I should increase the rating, tell me, but I decided on T because nothing actually happens…

**A/N:** This is dedicated to Thoughtless7, because she is made of AWESOME and because I can. When I was randomly pairing people up in my head I mentioned this one to her, and she said that's kinda interesting YOU SHOULD DO IT and after a few days of immense boredom… here we are. XD I love you, kaifu~

_**A Nurse Fetish Better Not Be Next**_

.~.~.~.~.

His blade glints in the sunlight, slicing through the air with expertise and strength. His target is hit straight on, slashing across the monster's middle. The creature cries out–a shrill sound, one that Jake has gotten used to by now. It collapses; its form washing in green light as it disappears, floating off back to the Forest of Beginnings where it belongs.

Jake is on a roll, and loving it. Now there is just one more Orc Archer, and he is done with this part of the forest for the-

"Shit!" Jake curses, spotting an arrow coming at him at the last second. It's aimed right for his midsection, and he leaps up and backwards to try and avoid it.

But he was so focused on the last one he wasn't watching his steps carefully enough, and his foot meets with a large boulder, toppling him over backwards. The arrow whizzes between his legs, narrowly missing his crotch and slicing instead along his thigh before embedding itself into the wall behind him.

Jake secretly thanks the gods for the near-miss (how awkward would it be to go into the clinic with a complaint like _that_) as he staggers to his feet, eyes murderous as he glares at the monster. If looks could kill… that monster would already be floating away.

He hurls himself back over the boulder, taking a flying leap at his foe, taking it by surprise. The monster falls easily, fading into light.

"Stupid thing…" Jake hisses, assessing the damage to his leg. His pants are torn, and there's a good amount of blood seeping from the wound. He frowns, as the cut is deep. It needs butterfly bandages at best, but stitches are more likely. It is in a rather… intimate place for such things.

"Fuck," he swears, pulling out a roll of bandages to help stem the flow and keep his pants together. It looks like he'll have to go embarrass himself at the clinic anyway.

.~.~.~.~.

"Goddammit, stupid monster…" Jake groans as he hobbles through the street. Did he really have to get hit on the _inside_ of his thigh of all places? It is bordering on painful to just walk, as his legs brush together with every step. And there is no way he is going to try and walk differently–he more fond of dealing with the pain than walking through town like he has a stick shoved up his butt.

Luckily he runs into very few people, and ones who are of the type to raise an eyebrow and look worried but not really say or do anything. Jake glares at them anyway; exuding an aura of do-not-even-dare-talk-to-me-unless-you-like-pain.

He can't keep the discomfort out of his expression now, and the blood is seeping through the bandage and down his leg, but he has made it to the clinic. He opens the door with a slam, stepping inside.

Ray is sitting at the front desk, a small book in his hands. His eyes assess Jake quickly, his frown and reprimand for his treatment of the door dying on his lips as he spots the blood on his leg.

"What happened?" Ray drops his book, standing up quickly from his seat.

"I got nailed by an Orc Archer…" Jake mumbles, flushing and flinching away instinctively when Ray bends down to take a look. It's a rather awkward position they're in…

Ray gives him severe look when he backs away. "If you move away, I can't look. Stay still. Better yet," Ray turns around, motioning Jake to follow him into the infirmary. He pulls out a chair, signaling for him to sit. Jake sits.

"Spread out your legs." Ray says, his tone firm and a pair of sharp-looking scissors in his hand. Jake flushes an even deeper red at the implications of the command, eyeing the scissors suspiciously. There was no way those were going anywhere near his crotch area…

Ray kneels down, reading his expression easily. "Relax; I'm just going to cut the bandages so I can look." His voice is soft and soothing, and his gloved fingers are gentle as he expertly removes Jake's haphazard patch job. Jake watches warily (and still blushing like mad) as he pulls open the slice in his pants, tenderly wiping away some of the blood with a large ball of cotton and he assesses the wound carefully. The area tingles from his touch, and Jake looks away awkwardly, not able to watch. He can't stop squirming, though. A few more light pokes in the area and Ray makes a small sound, leaning back.

"The cut is pretty deep; you're going to need some stitches for sure." His back is now turned, and Jake watches his shoulders move as he digs through a small bag, opening packages and setting them on a small metal tray.

"Dammit… Figures." Jake groans, slouching in his seat. He is not happy with this, not at all. Not only does it sting and ache like a motherfucker, but now he's going to have Ray poking around in his crotch area with a needle and thread.

That just screams and hits him upon the head with a large anvil of _disaster_. But, he has never been very fond of bleeding to death or getting infections, so it is the only (albeit problematic) solution.

Like the saying goes, he just has to grin and bear it. Or, as Jake prefers: scowl, swear, threaten, and shoot dirty looks; but let it happen anyway. Just _do not_ be pleasant about it.

Ray is back to bending between his legs, those tingly feather-soft touches wiping and poking as he whispers quietly to him to _stop squirming already and just let him finish_. Jake can't watch – but not because he's weak-stomached.

He's being so damned gentle in such an intimate spot it's driving him crazy, and watching just makes it _worse_. So he's looking everywhere but at Ray, even when he feels the dull prick of the needle sliding through his skin, his face as red as one of Kyle's prized tomatoes. And he's secretly hoping the only thing he's feeling in his pants is Ray patching him up, and not something _else _much more embarrassing.

Something--or someone--must be out to spite him, though, because it is undeniably _something else_—and of course Ray has to bump his hand against it. All activity in his nether-regions come to a halt, and Jake can't help a small involuntary hiss at the contact.

_Fuck,_ is all Jake can think of as he unwittingly glances down at the doctor, who _definitely_ noticed and knows what he accidentally touched. Ray is blushing too, hands stilled mid-stitch, looking pointedly at his crotch where even Jake could see a small bulge. Half a second later and Ray is looking away, anywhere but at Jake.

"Uh…" he hums uneasily, face reddening even more. Jake lets out a long string of curses—of course this had to happen, it's not exactly the most insensitive spot ever that he's touching so tenderly, dammit, needles and sutures be damned.

"Just finish and get it over with, human," he growls, "I don't have all day." His glare is dangerous, making him look like he is just about ready to skin Ray alive.

"Right…" Ray responds quickly, blinking. He continues, trying his best to steer clear of Jake's evident hard on as professionally as possible, awkward situation it might be.

The tension in the room is suffocating, and neither can help the immense sense of relief when Ray finally pulls away, finished at last. His cut is stitched and bandaged, covered with a small hard leather patch to prevent wear and tear on the injury. He has to be able to walk, after all.

Ray cleans up quickly, purposefully _not looking_ at Jake, who is doing the same. He clears his throat, gaining Jake's attention. "If you want, you can wait in here until, uh, you know… I'll just be outside."

"Just get the fuck away from me, human," Jake snarls, but no one can miss the flustered and strangely edgy expression on his face behind the bad-tempered charade.

How the human turned him on so bad is very impossible to ignore, and he just wants him away so he could calm down enough before he could fancy the idea of _doing something about it_.

Ray is out of the room in a flash, quietly shutting the door to give him some privacy. A distressed moan escapes from his throat, and he slumps further in his seat, purposefully banging his head against the back of the chair. It might be a while.

.~.~.~.~.

**A/N:** FIN! (giggles) Ahh, I love these two. XD I think I torture them a little too much, but I do it because I love them. 8D Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed~ I had a lot of fun writing it.

Side Note: If you're wondering about Duplicity (unlikely, but HEY, a girl can dream), it's not dead. I'm still working on it! I'm just having a couple problems with it… It's being stubborn and refusing to be written. Although my block got you this oneshot, I guess. XD


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